Sunday, July 27, 2008


I think I ought to have an Igor.

Not that I much feel like laughing in an insane manner, or engaging in anything worse than garden-variety evil, or even reanimating a patchwork corpse and then fleeing from it to the cold climes where it obtains a sled and team of huskies and pursues me, Iditarod-style, in the part of the story few know about. But this is an experiment, some mad science for a new day, and I don't know whether it will blow up in my face or result in a delicious new fruit-flavored concoction. With umbrella. These are not the only options.

One of my favorite moments in the fantastic Disney animated series Gargoyles: the nefarious Xanatos engages in a little reanimation of his own, and upon the success of the experiment, just when you're thinking "he's going to do it, he's going to do it, please, please don't let him do it," sure enough he throws back his head and crows, "It's aliiiiive!" Then he turns to his assistant (not an Igor, sadly) and says offhandedly, "I've always wanted to say that!" And just like that, the cheese is gone; the moment becomes a sly nod to cinematic stereotypes. This is Gargoyles' style, which ought to be a beacon to the world.

The idea behind this blog is simple, as it should be. If it becomes a vehicle with which to take over the world, well and good. If, more realistically, just three entities read it on any sort of regular basis, then I'll count myself lucky for having three readers and it will serve quite well as a practice arena in which I can hone my writing craft. Yea, for I am the dreaded Aspiring Writer, and with my Digital Pen I will smite poor grammar and humorless humdrummery everywhere! All while coining new, unnecessary words in the process. Actually I'll try to restrain the coinery, but I make no promises.

Regarding thematic consistency: don't count on it. I write as my whimsy takes me, which means I could attack from any direction! Any direction! Expect nothing, and you'll get everything. Or you might get nothing. But they say to write what you...well, you know, and I know what I like. And, to a lesser extent, I like what I know. So whether I offer a treatise on grammar so hilarious and captivating that you don't realize you're learning until it's far too late, or I rage against the latest machinations of my beloved (but occasionally misguided) Nintendo, I will also wax poetic, or at least eloquent, or at least waxy, on something I enjoy and think others might as well. Might be a movie, or TV show, video game or music CD, book, or who knows what? Webcomic, perhaps? Yes. I'll skip today's entry because I've already given you at least two recommendations. Of course, I gave neither of them the full treatment, which means material for at least two more posts! Economics, that's called. Or cheating.

The posts won't all be this long. There's always so much to say at the start of the relationship, then one day all the stories have been told and the conversation dries up and someone makes a romantic comedy. I promise I won't let that last bit happen, unless it's directed by Rob Reiner. (There's a third.)

That's it...for now. Next time on Sage Mathias: a note on the name! If I remember and look at my last posting, anyway. I'll try to update the blog at least thrice a week, more so if I'm feeling generous, at least until I get a regular pattern down. Tune in...sometime, and don't touch that dial. Unless it's large and red and has a sign with huge letters saying "DO NOT (under any circumstances) TOUCH," of course. No one could be expected to hold back then.

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